


It’s a Wonderful Team

by LooNEY_DAC



Series: LooNEY_DAC's SSSS Could-Be-Canon Thingies [2]
Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Gen, Pre-chapter titles even, Rather old, Takes place starting on pp 305-306, The inevitable "It's A Wonderful Life" thing, rather short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 11:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8749576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooNEY_DAC/pseuds/LooNEY_DAC
Summary: My 3rd SSSS Fic ever, posted on the Fan Forum from 5/16/15 - 5/18/15. At the time, I was under the impression fics or chapters thereof needed to be <500 words apiece - we didn't even have spoiler tags enabled back then!





	1. Chapter 1

Hair still frazzled from his recent bath, Lalli stalked off in the highest of high dudgeons, purposefully avoiding the Swedish Fool’s outstretched fist by a wide margin. He slinked angrily past Tuuri and the Lying One to the safety of his bunk.

“You ingrate.” Trolls seize it! Lalli looked over to see Puppy-Fox looking back at him. This was not the first time they’d met; an introduction to the Gods was part of a mage’s training, so the mage knew upon whom they should call, and the Gods knew who was entreating them. But what could the Gods’ most irritating and irresponsible troublemaker want with him now, Rash take him?

“Well, and I am all that, indeed,” Puppy-Fox acknowledged Lalli’s unspoken question without qualm, “but _sometimes_ even I help you pitiful crawling wretches, and what gratitude do we get? None! Even, you wish we’d never intervened! Well, this time I’m annoyed enough to want to teach you a little lesson, human!”

The world blurred around Lalli, and when it cleared, he and Puppy-Fox were standing in an unfamiliar outdoor cafe of some sort. At the table directly before them sat the Fool Swede’s Oily Uncle and Cowardly Aunt, talking to a tall, dazzlingly blond man in their babble.

“Oh, right,” Puppy-Fox said after a moment, “you don’t speak Icelandic, or even Swedish. Not that I blame you; why you humans can’t all speak Finnish like sensible creatures is beyond me. Here!”

The scene seemed to reverse itself just long enough to start back where Puppy-Fox wanted it to begin, and when time resumed its normal flow, Lalli found that he could understand what the three were discussing.

“So, ah, Eric,” the Oily Uncle smiled ingratiatingly at the stranger, “you’ve said you’re willing to go on this adventurous undertaking free of charge?”

‘Eric’ grinned back, a grin with something behind it that felt like a cold hand on Lalli’s neck. “Aside from my keep, and some inconsequential travel charges, I require nothing, Herr Västerström. It sounds like great fun, and I find I could use a vacation of the sort that this expedition would provide.”

The Cowardly Aunt looked at ‘Eric’ askance. “Um... That’s most... _interesting,_ Eric. Might I just have a few words with my husband about a ‘family problem’?”

“By all means, Fru Västerström.” ‘Eric’ leaned back in his chair nonchalantly as the two moved a short distance away.

“There’s something off about him. He’s too congenial and too willing to donate his time to us, and he’s hiding something.”

“But he’s free, and we’re desperate,” the Oily Uncle retorted. “Even Emil won’t do this gratis, and he’s family! His references check, and he seems personable enough, while the money we save hiring him can go towards more equipment for the team--isn’t that what you wanted, Siv?”

Now-Lalli felt the pit of his stomach clench nervously. This would not end well, he sensed...


	2. Chapter 2

_Lalli is visited by Puppy-Fox, who feels Lalli is not properly grateful for the companions the Gods have provided him, so Puppy-Fox is showing Lalli what might have been if Emil had declined his uncle’s invitation..._

The scene blurred again, and they were in the unpronounceable Swedish harbor where he’d first met the Swedes, but ‘Eric’ was there instead of the Fool Swede, looking quite dapper in an unblemished outfit. When then-Lalli would have ignored ‘Eric’s’ outstretched hand, a hard look came into the back of ‘Eric’s’ eyes, and he took then-Lalli’s hand in a punishing grip. Then-Tuuri tried to smooth the whole thing over with a flood of words, at which ‘Eric’ laughed with faux kindness and said, “Your cousin needs to learn some better manners, Fröken Hotakainen.” Something in ‘Eric’s’ tone further raised _both_ Lallis’ hackles, but Tuuri was still swooning over how tall and blond ‘Eric’ was.

Another blur, and they were sitting in the little train to Mora. Tuuri was too busy gawping out the window to fawn over, or even notice, ‘Eric’. ‘Eric’ was looking down at a sandwich from which all the meat had been stolen. ‘Eric’ growled, crushing the bread in his hands, murder flashing in his eyes for a moment when they rested on then-Lalli, but all ‘Eric’ did was to rise and go off to the dining car, from which he returned after a very long time empty-handed. He also had not offered to get them anything initially. As if whispered by a ghost, now-Lalli heard Messy Emil’s words from that time, now understanding them: “Would you like anything? ... I’ll go get us some more of those.”

“Are you beginning to see, ingrate?” Puppy-Fox asked. The question startled now-Lalli, who had almost forgotten his presence. “No? Then we shall continue.”

With that, they were at the Grabby Kids’ house, and the Grabby Kids were all over then-Lalli. Neither Tuuri nor ‘Eric’ noticed, being far too preoccupied with ‘Eric’ and charming Tuuri, respectively. Great.

Another blur, and they were on the Death Train. Then-Lalli stood alone as the giant attacked, ‘Eric’ looking on from behind the door, a hopeful look in his eyes. ‘Eric’ smiled when the Coriferous Soul grabbed then-Lalli to ask for help, but frowned when then-Lalli acceded to her request. Then-Lalli saw neither expression, but now-Lalli did.

“Oh, good. I won’t have to walk you through everything.” Puppy-Fox smiled briefly.

Then they were at the base, meeting Adrenaline Girl and the Bear. Now-Lalli couldn’t help but notice the decided difference between how ‘Eric’ reacted and how the Bear--ah, Mikkel, was it?--did. There was no anger there, just a firm insistence.

Then Sigrun was wondering how they’d communicate, and ‘Eric’, of all people, spoke up. “He gets his meaning across, when he wants to.”

So ‘Eric’ was observant, as well as clever. Things kept getting worse...


	3. Chapter 3

_Puppy-Fox is showing Lalli what might have been if Emil had declined his uncle’s invitation and a different Cleanser, Eric, had taken his place. Eric has been deceptively pleasant to Tuuri while disdaining Lalli. Now, Puppy-Fox must show Lalli things about Emil of which Lalli was unaware..._

“Erm, for this next bit, we need to go back to what was, rather than what would have been,” Puppy-Fox declared. “Got that?”

They were in the Felinopede, crawling slowly down the tunnel. Then-Lalli was fidgeting and moaning in his sleep atop the desk. Emil perched beside him, his face still bandaged.

The noises stopped. Now-Lalli saw that Emil had gently placed his hand to shield then-Lalli’s eyes from the weird green lights, until then-Lalli relaxed into true sleep. When the vehicle stopped with a soft kronk, Emil stealthily leapt away, ensuring then-Lalli wasn’t disturbed.

After yet another blur, they were in a hall in Ka-THUM Central, lit only by Emil’s lantern. After checking his chrono, Emil moved purposefully back the way he’d come, until--

_SCRITCH SCRITCH SCRATCH_

“Lal--” Emil began in a low voice, only for it to fade to a whispered, “--li?”

_SCRITCH SCRITCH SCRATCH_

A look of ‘I’m going to be sick, but I’m going to do this’ came over Emil’s face as he drew his knife. After only a few steps forward, though, a burst of gunk gouted down on him with a revolting SPLURK. Emil slowly looked up, as did now-Lalli, to see an almost-Giant clinging to the ceiling and ready to pounce. Troll ahead; troll below; this was probably where Adrenaline Girl came in.

Moving more swiftly than (now- or then-) Lalli would have expected, Emil dodged the plunging troll, swinging his lantern at where he obviously guessed the brains were. As the fallen troll let out a horrid screech, Emil flashed past the other troll, which still jumped out at him. Emil ducked and slashed out with his knife, cleanly slicing two of the troll’s four hands away, which let Emil gain some distance.

The troll slammed into Emil from behind. Emil managed to get his knife into its throat, but that didn’t slow its horribly snapping jaws, now just millimeters from Emil’s face. Emil screamed for Sigrun’s help, and got it. She sliced the troll’s jaws off and helped Emil up, urgency in her every move as she ordered him out.

Before leaving, though, Emil popped a flask open, emptying it in the hall. Then, as the almost-giant he’d wounded earlier bounded after them, Emil faced it down, pulling four small flare-things from his bandoleer and throwing them in a near-perfect pattern.

KA-THUM happened.

Sigrun and Emil hobbled into the street, coughing. Mikkel said something to them, and Emil--

Emil tried to bolt back into the building. Only then-Lalli’s defenstrous exit stopped him.

“Such a surprise,” Puppy-Fox mocked, the world blurring...


	4. Chapter 4

_Puppy-Fox resumes showing Lalli how Eric handles things differently than Emil..._

“Now, we return to what would have been.” They were back in the tunnel, ‘Eric’ leaning through the doorway to chatter with the three in the cab. As they exited, ‘Eric’ accidentally-on-purpose knocked against then-Lalli’s legs, half-rousing him in time to catch ‘Eric’s’ nasty smirk before they piled out.

‘Eric’ tried to attach himself to either Sigrun or Tuuri, but when he saw the wrecked Danish behemoths half-buried in the bog, his eyes lit up. “Shouldn’t we try scrounging through those first?” he asked Sigrun. “Some of the stuff that’s left might be useful, and those metal coffins should be nest-free, since they tend to form icebergs in winter.”

As with Tuuri’s earlier plea, Sigrun considered it while Mikkel almost panicked at the thought. “Not just yet,” she decided. “In a few days, maybe; they’ll still be there, and we’ll have time to burn after we’ve loaded up with books.”

‘Eric’ was not happy, but he acquiesced.

“Blah blah _blah,”_ Puppy-Fox mocked. “Onwards!”

They were in the hall where Emil had faced the trolls. ‘Eric’ was examining a lamp sconce to see if he could remove it without too much trouble as the Big Maw-Maw moved into place above him. A few seconds later, two limbless trolls lay before ‘Eric’, whose face got a hungry look on it.

“No, don’t cry out,” ‘Eric’ crooned softly, running his knife almost sensually down the larger troll’s blubbery flank.

“I can’t look,” Puppy-Fox announced, and time jumped ahead just a bit.

The bobbing light from Sigrun’s lamp could be seen as she tried to find ‘Eric’, so he did as Emil had, in almost the same way, but without a troll chasing him and without Sigrun next to him. “I hope you burn, bone-boy,” he growled before throwing the flare-things, and cried, “OUT, SIGRUN!”

‘Eric’ emerged from the building, asking in faux concern, “Sigrun? Lalli? Have either of them come out?” Then Sigrun emerged, coughing and limping. “You heard me yell to get out, didn’t you?”

Mikkel asked, “Where’s Lalli?”

‘Eric’ shrugged faux-helplessly, just before then-Lalli auto-defenestrated.

Another blur brought them to the morning’s bath.

‘Eric’ wielded bucket and brush in such a way as to cause then-Lalli as much pain as possible. “Raggedy twig-pile,” ‘Eric’ growled as he plied the soap, “I wish this were lye!”

Eventually, the torture ceased. As soon as then-Lalli was in his sweater, ‘Eric’ shoved him at the Felinopede with a harshly growled, “Out of my sight, bone-heap!” Sigrun approached enthusiastically, but ‘Eric’ had his charming-but-fake smile back in place before she could see, so that it looked like ‘Eric’ had just sent then-Lalli off a little too heartily.

Even Puppy-Fox winced. “Ouch. But that leaves us about where we began, doesn’t it?” Lalli watched Puppy-Fox warily...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of stuff serial killers do: torture, rape, and murder.

_Puppy-Fox has shown Lalli what might have been if Emil had declined his uncle’s invitation and another Cleanser, Eric, had taken his place. Now caught up to when Puppy-Fox appeared, Puppy-Fox still has a few final words for Lalli..._

“Of course, none of what I’ve shown you with Eric actually happened, and here’s why:” The scene blurred yet again. They stood in a rough camp cleared from a vast forest. Emil, hair suitably sparkly, was among a large crowd of similarly clad spectators surrounding a raised wooden platform upon which stood ‘Eric’, bound, and an impressive older man, scars crisscrossing his stern but kind face.

“CLEANSERS!” the man began at a volume just shy of the Shouty One’s. “You have been accepted into our family, regardless of anything in your past! This second chance--to show your true quality, without the weight of your past dragging you down--is not something to be taken lightly!” He turned to ‘Eric’. “Behold the consequences when that second chance, the trust we place in all of you to be as family to us and each other, is BETRAYED!”

A truly massive man cloaked in black stepped up behind ‘Eric’, unfurling a nasty-looking bullwhip.

“This one was accepted into our family as ‘Eric Smed’, and, had he honored that bond, he would have lived and died under that name, an honored member of our company. Instead, he tried to force himself on one of our fellows, violating the trust in which we all live, and, failing that, he killed her, against all that we hold dear!”

An angry murmur passed through the crowd.

“Now, as justice for this crime against every standard of Cleanser-hood, ‘Eric Smed’, or, as he will once again be known, Ivor Vit, will be flogged and used as TROLL-BAIT!” The cheers prevented him from continuing for some time. “Having broken the Cleanser-bond in the worst possible way, and having diminished us as a company, a nation, and as a whole, he will now serve to diminish our enemies!”

The noise of the crowd’s cheers cut off, leaving Lalli alone with Puppy-Fox.

“Not that you will believe this, but _I_ was the one who heeded the murdered girl’s calls for justice by drawing the searchers to her body.” Puppy-Fox stared at now-Lalli intently. “So, are you finally properly grateful, human?”

Lalli nodded, unable to speak.

“OK. That’s all I wanted.” Puppy-Fox looked at him for a moment. “You know I’ll have to make you forget all this, right?”

Lalli nodded again.

“Well, I _will_ leave the notion in your mind that it might have been all kinds of worse without Emil along, so you’ll keep some of that gratitude that we’re due.” They were back in the bunk area, Lalli lying on the nice wooden flats as he watched Puppy-Fox. “Farewell, Lalli Hotakainen. We may meet again, but not soon.”

Lalli slept...


	6. Epilogue

_Puppy-Fox has given Lalli his final words of remonstrance, wiped the young mage’s memory, and gone. His celestial fellows await his return..._

Puppy-Fox wasn’t _too_ surprised to see all the others assembled to greet his return from the mortal realm. They regarded him in silence for an almost unnervingly long time, but he kept his composure. Moose spoke then.

“You did _well,_ Puppy-Fox.”

Puppy-Fox grinned at the surprise in Moose’s voice. “Well, it had to happen sometime,” he replied. “Don’t worry; I won’t make a habit of it.”

“Would that you did,” his mother said bleakly.

Bear spoke before Puppy-Fox could do more than flash her a hurt look from his impressive repertoire. “Moose and your mother are right, Puppy-Fox. Look at what you’ve accomplished with so little effort on your part, and imagine what good you might work if you actually _tried.”_

“That isn’t my style,” Puppy-Fox protested half-heartedly.

“Styles may change, as we grow older and more skilled,” Moose said.

“So what happens to the Hotakainens next?” Puppy-Fox asked in a transparent effort to end ‘the Intervention’.

“Soon, Lalli will meet with Onni and Reynir in the Otherworld, and what follows will be interesting indeed...”


	7. Deleted Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS for implied attempted rape

Eric’s Fate

“Now, it is time for us, the Cleansers of Sweden, to cleanse this filth from our ranks.” He held out his hand, and the big man put the bullwhip into his waiting palm. “We shall form a line, and each of us shall deliver one blow to this wretch with this whip, for in murdering one of our own, he has betrayed each of us and all of us at once. One solid blow to the betrayer from all of those whom he betrayed, and then we bait our trap with him.”

Crew!Eric’s Fate

A sudden unease rippled through Tuuri, and she turned to find ‘Eric’ was looking down at her with scorn and a most disquieting hunger, rather than the tenderness she’d expected.

With a last desperate effort, Tuuri wrenched herself away from ‘Eric’, now growling and snarling like the frustrated animal he was. ‘Eric’ moved to follow Tuuri, only to bounce off the wall that was Mikkel Madsen.

“Stay behind me, Tuuri, whatever happens.”

“Coward,” ‘Eric’ taunted. “You won’t fight me: not to save her; not even to save your wretched self.”

“No,” Mikkel rumbled calmly, “but I shall die before I let you hurt her again.”

A blade flashed in ‘Eric’s’ hand. “Yes, you will.”

_“He won’t HAVE to!”_ One hundred kilograms of enraged Hunter smashed into ‘Eric’ as he charged Mikkel, the impact knocking the homicidal Cleanser aside.

‘Eric’ staggered back, while Sigrun gathered herself in readiness to leap to her feet, but that proved unnecessary. A bright red blotch bloomed on ‘Eric’s’ uniform, right where his heart should be. Surprise writ plain upon his face, ‘Eric’ twisted to face the shooter, sinking to one knee as he did so, the life ebbing from him. Just as ‘Eric’ completed his turn, another shot put a hole right between his eyes, taking most of his brains with it out the back of his skull.

“Did you really think I would let him live after handling you so?” Lalli asked Tuuri quietly.


End file.
